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 “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

A common theme threaded through the articles below is the power and fulfillment of owning and living your truth, who you really are separate from what others and society expects.

Note: There are many how-to articles. I am not a fan of them. Everyone has a unique mind and what speaks to your mind needs to be explored not twisted into what you should, can and am supposed to be. Yes, sometimes suggestions can be helpful however true change comes through focused integration and practice. Ultimately, shortcuts fall short. Discovering what works for you is about honoring and owning your uniqueness not adjusting it to the common.  This is the making of trendsetters, entrepreneurs and successful executives.

 

“There are over eighteen billion cells in the brain alone. There are no two brains alike, no two hands alike, no two humans alike. You can take instructions and guidance from others” but at some point, if you are aware enough to hear your calling “you must find your own path.”
Joseph Campbell

 

Contact Lee Harbison, P.A.C.G for further information.

 

Goal Reset

 

A common way we fool ourselves is to think we can clarify, set and act upon challenging goals alone. Hard to do. When setting a new course, or path, we are bringing with us old habits, some of which we do not recognize ourselves. Breaking these invisible habits, harmlessly, is done successfully with someone who can see it, tell you about it, be your devil’s advocate, help you explore and move on to healthier approaches. Coaching is partially about: riding obstacles, strengthening your foundation, proclaiming who you are, realizing your strengths and moving into such with solid inspiration and vision. The key is tapping your inner place that says ‘I can do it, have done it and deserve it.’ Be it this place is hard to locate is all the more reason to work with a coach. You are invited to a free 20 minute session to experience the idea of coaching. Just say you read “Goal Reset.”

 

 

Pressure

 

How pressure comes about and sticks around is not an awareness Adders are inclined to recognize — at first. Adders are used to pressure, be it eternal pressure from an employer, spouse, deadlines, etc. or internal pressure that sounds like “I should,” “I have to,” “why can’t I do this,” etc. Pressure when unchallenged and unrecognized feeds upon itself and creates procrastination, or rumination and negative thinking sending many on a downward spiral. Pressure can be invisible and builds when accompanied by lack of self-awareness and not utilizing necessary stress-reducing strategies.

 

What helps to alleviate pressure is to delineate the physical signs such as where in your body do you feel the discomfort? This information signifies you are entertaining a thought that increases pressure.

(Now if biological signs do not speak to you, pause and recognize your thoughts. Witness how it affects your energy, behavior and, or attitude. If any one of these is sapped then your thought cycle is not working for you. Once you determine your thoughts the downward spiral will begin to cease. The strength of thought-awareness is powerful.)

 

Right now you have an opportunity to strengthen your awareness and use it to your advantage. What are you thinking? What are those pesky thoughts saying? Are they true? If so, ask yourself is my current mindset working for me? Seems it time for an update. Weigh your thoughts next to what is important to you such as: “is it worth going through this?” “What if….” and allow yourself to explore what could be different, better for you, and you alone. Set aside the expectations and ideas of what others think and expect of you.  Allow yourself to shift if slightly and embrace a clearer perspective that is most likely closer to your truth.

 

Pace yourself and believe, if just a little bit more with each thought you redirect.

 

Contact Lee Harbison, P.A.C.G for further information.

 

 

Will I be on Meds Forever?

Often medication can help but not alone. What helps is understanding the paradoxes involved with your type of ADHD and gaining essential self-awareness that unfolds into a useful action plan. With an ADHD Coach you gain powerful knowledge and learn how to integrate purposeful strategies that can be tailored to how you think and function. This is important, for everyone is unique. I know one client who had strong auditory skills. She recorded her classes and took walks while she listened to them. It helped her remember and her grades greatly improved. I know another client that couldn’t get housework done until she integrated intellectual and creative activities in between tasks throughout her day.

 

Working with an ADHD Coach has many benefits, such as: aid with focus, discovery, clarity, building memory skills and motivation and tailoring ADHD strategies that will help you reach your educational, career and personal goals. I have witnessed a great deal of success through ADHD Coaching where many clients have even ceased using their medication.

 

Contact Lee Harbison, P.A.C.G for further information.

 

 

Surefire Way to Completion of Projects

 

Incomplete projects and pursuing mundane tasks is a common struggle among Adders. What can help? Having a clear idea or schedule that is interspersed with your varied interests. This helps with beginning and eventually completing certain set-off projects and the like. For example: begin with something you enjoy. Then when you recognize your energy is higher you can set into the more mundane tasks. You can set up a certain amount of time or use a timer. Just remember you can complete a task within intervals. Allow yourself to revisit it until the tasks/project is complete. Once you revisit it you’ll remember you can work this way after all. The KEY is: as long as you keep rewards and interests nearby you can get through the mundane tasks.

 

 

Saying NO —

 

Uh oh, challenging to say “no.” Again and again, I see how people with Add/ADHD have trouble with saying “no.” In fact, ADHD or not the word “yes” is automatic. Then what one is left with are the circumstances.  Such as:” not enough time,” “don’t really want to do it,” and feeling over-compromised. Etc. The word “yes,” pops out before you give yourself a chance to think it through.

 

When one has ADD/ADHD the brain fires quicker and over-rides ta natural pause. Adders, and those who are hooked to immediate gratification need to learn to use pausing as a way to slow down and think through their response. Once the impulse to pause is practiced, it is therefore integrated in the brain’s response system where one feels more in control. So, before you say “yes,” pause. Here are some examples of what that looks like:  “I will get back to you.” Or, “I will think about it.” Or, “my schedule is tight. I need to go over it then I will get back to you.” Whatever you need to do to delay “yes” so you can allow your brain to catch up to thinking it through. You are allowed that and remember this. Pausing, is one of the best tools you can practice, period.

 

 

Contact Lee Harbison, P.A.C.G for further information.

 

 

Cease the Culprits of Change

 

Let’s address the root, the truth, the undercurrent of change. The questions are: do you want help? Do you believe you can actually change? Is the word “help” or “change” making you invisibly flinch? The word “help” still makes me step back, however, I learned not to stay there, for it becomes self-defeating.

 

For many, the idea of change is intimidating. When we have reached our end, we are resentful or angry which tends to fuel our initiative.  How healthy is this approach? And, how often do people get stuck there? Several and often!  Does our back always have to be against the wall to seek change? If you think about how much fear or resentment you harbor right now over actually seeking new knowledge maybe this reality would help inspire you. How often do you secretly think or wish for change in your life? If you wish it, then change itself can’t be that awful.

 

In our heads we blow things up to be much bigger and more complicated than it actually is. Believe me, I have been there! When we hold ourselves back we are nurturing a fiesta of unhealthy thoughts that weigh on us much more than we realize. It negatively affects our subconscious thinking which then guides our thoughts and our behavior. Our self-esteem and self-image descend as the same old frustrating thoughts reoccurs. Each month that passes takes more and more of a toll on our well-being. Humph! Pause for thought. The truth is, you are capable of making transitions that will make your life richer and you more complete.  But doing it alone is often  idealistic and creates burdensome pressure.

 

So what is this pressure – fear , or shall we say… roadblock. We look at change as though it is a big tsunami wiping out everything we know and are secure with. This thought is untrue.  It is the brain resisting because it dislikes change.  It is the most powerful, under-utilized tool we have.  If you do not take charge of it, it will get you.  So, let’s draw the facts: What will happen with change is knowledge. The truth. In other words, making a change aligns you with your integrity, values, needs, desires and passions. You will ease, innocuously, into a better self.

 

Another way we distort the idea of transition is that we’ll look “weak, or needy.” Actually, it’s just the opposite. It is the strong that are honest and follow their integrity. They are not shy to reach out and get their needs met.

 

What does the first step look like? You give yourself permission to explore and remain rational. Pause. Allow time to be felt, heard, sensed. This brings you past the fears, the “I can’ts” and offers you a chance to begin to gain powerful knowledge that can be life-changing. The truth is, you actually can accept change and have done a great deal already.

 

The good news: What is so freeing about change is the release: letting go of deception and be who you are lessening your investment in what others think. This is the last main roadblock to change. When we base our image and lives on what others are doing or will consider, we downplay ourselves and live in the same old. We become dependent on another, or the opposite, as we become loners and entertain too much cynicism while leaning on unhealthy interests. Yet, with change there is so much power, truth and passion with just a little movement. That little movement builds and builds. The exploration and implementation is fascinating and life-fulfilling.

 

So…. if you hear a calling for more, to move beyond the frustration and mediocre I encourage you to answer it. It will haunt you until you do. This calling comes more one than once in our lifetime. Once we are truthful and admit where we are isn’t working we begin to go home.

 

Contact Lee Harbison, P.A.C.G for further information.

 

 

 

Tidbits of Interest (Just for fun.)  Written by Anonymous

 

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

 

Couples married in June because they took their yearly bath in May. ( I know yuch!) However, since they were starting to smell by June brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

 

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the sons, then the women and finally the children. Babies were last. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

 

Houses had thatched roofs which were thick with straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm. All the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and the animals would slip off the roof… Hence the saying “it’s raining cats and dogs.”

 

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came about.

 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.”

 

The wealthy had slate floors which would get slippery in the wet of winter. Thresh (straw) was spread on floors to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh, yet when the front door was opened thresh would slip outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, hence the word: threshold.

 

Cooking was done in the kitchen with a big kettle that hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added (so-called) edibles in the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not acquire much meat due to cost. They would eat stew for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew been there for quite a while, hence the rhyme: ”peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”

 

Sometimes families could afford pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would display their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth, hence the statement: “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”

 

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content leached lead into the food, which caused lead poisoning deaths. This happened most often with tomatoes. For the next 400 years tomatoes were considered poisonous.

 

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or “the upper crust.”

 

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat, drink waiting to see if they would wake up. This is where the custom of “holding a wake” came about.

 

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. In result, they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. They then began the custom of tying a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the “graveyard shift”) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be “saved by the bell” or was considered “a dead ringer.”

 

Contact Lee Harbison, P.A.C.G for further information.